Social [Media] Statement Haiku • 6/365 •

Last night Blogspot broke.

Helplessly I realized,

Google made me mute.

Brilliant Undiscovered Idea (in no particular order) #2 • 5/365 •

Necessity is the mother of invention. So am I. I'm always coming up with brilliant ideas. Trouble is, however valuable a brilliant idea is, the real gold lies in the execution. And let's face it, I don't really want to do every thing I think of. So I'm sharing some of these ideas so that you can take them and get rich!  In no order of importance or best-ness, here is number 2 (you can read #1, It's Nacho Restaurant, here).

"The Chinese Delivery Hub"

Calling for Chinese delivery scares me. Not in a horror-film way, but I'm always insecure about my order. It never really seems as if we understand each other, the Chinese person on the other end of the line and I. I don't mean understand each other intimately, like who we are as people, I just mean what my order is, how much it will cost me, and whether it will be delivered to my house. Funny as the conversations can be, I'd rather know that I'm getting what I want. 

Actually, I'm highly impressed that they generally do get things right. Whichever the restaurant in where ever the town, they pretty much always charge my card the right amount and come to the right address with the right order, plus some bonus crab rangoon. 

Still, it's scary.

The solution: Open a "Chinese Delivery Hub." I don't know if it's you who's going to do it, but it needs doing. Get clear-speaking people to answer a phone line and take down customer's orders, charge customer's credit/debit cards, and pass the order straight through to the Chinese restaurant of the customer's choosing (or closest to them). The Chinese restaurant then has an order in writing, clear (maybe even translated if necessary).  They might not ever even open up a merchant account to accept cards! The Delivery Hub will handle that... and customers will be worry-free. 

Let me know if you do it, I'd love to do your branding! 

The lighter side of marketing • 4/365 •

After yesterday's emergency blog, I thought I would lighten things up a bit. It was fun coming up with these ... please share yours if you have some good ones!

How many graphic designers does it take to change a lightbulb?

White space signifies a working lightbulb best, so how about just the word "change" in 14 pt Helvetica Light Compressed, just right of center? 

How many social media experts does it take to change a lightbulb?

You can't expect the lightbulb to change just because you're there, you've got to have a conversation with it and develop a relationship. Then change can be allowed to happen organically.

How many Facebook users does it take to change a lightbulb?

That depends if you're talking about a lightbulb on the wall of a "fan" page, a "profile" page, or a "business" page, and you may or may not know it even needs changing, depending on your notification settings and number of friends.

How many creatives does it take to change a lightbulb?

Why does it have to be a lightbulb?

How many artists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Ooh, it's all smokey! Wait, don't change it, that's really cool. Let me photograph/paint/draw it first! 

How many art historians does it take to change a lightbulb?

Eleven: One to change the lightbulb,

five to show earlier versions that influenced it, 

and five to say the changing was actually done by the changers' apprentice.

How many SEO experts does it take to change a lightbulb?

First you have to fix the directions. They aren't labeled, tagged, coded and prioritized properly. A burned-out lightbulb in the dark will never be found otherwise.

How many PR reps does it take to change a lightbulb?

The "Sparkle in the Dark" event will be sponsored by a dozen businesses who donate their time and tools to the effort, and part of the proceeds from recycling the old bulb go to charity.